


The Rise of the really, definitely, this time we mean it, Final Order

by AgrippaSpoleto



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Bad Puns, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, Humor, Kinda, Not, Sorry Not Sorry, The Final Order, cameo of Monthy Pythons puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:35:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24008959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgrippaSpoleto/pseuds/AgrippaSpoleto
Summary: After the Battle of Exegol the First Order doesn't just disappear, much to everyone's chagrin. They sprout like weed, bringing destruction and ... bad puns?
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Finn
Comments: 7
Kudos: 18





	The Rise of the really, definitely, this time we mean it, Final Order

**Author's Note:**

> So, me and my best friends watched TROS the other day. What a ride. We decided - quite responsibly - that we would not drink a shot every time someone said "order" but we still consumed a bit of wine. There were many bad puns involved in watching this movie and probably all of them found their way into this cracky ficlet. In honour of this year's Star Wars Day have this stupid little ditty. Enjoy the bad puns and cute boyfriends surrounded by absolutely amazing and capable badass women.

Finn and Poe entered the command centre hurriedly. Rose, Rey and Jess were already standing by the holo projector, obviously expecting them.

“We came as fast as we could. What is it, Rose?” asked Poe as he and his boyfriend joined the women.

“I can only imagine.” Jess grinned and wiggled her eyebrows at their dishevelled appearance. She held up her hand and Rey high fived her, smirking.

“Very mature.” Poe rolled his eyes while Finn just smirked back at them like the cat that got the canary.

Rose cleared her throat and they all turned to her sheepishly.

“Back to business. What have you found?” said Poe, effectively diverting their attention to the Engineer.

Rose pointed to the star chart displayed by the holoprojector.

“Apparently a new First Order fringe group has popped up at the Outer Rim. They have been making trouble and keep trying to recruit local thugs and warlords.”

Finn’s expression darkened.

“They’re like weed. Every time we think we have gotten them all, they start to grow again. What do we know up to this point?”

Rose handed out a few pads.

“They seem to be the remnants of a few First Order officers that escaped Exegol and hitched a ride with a few of the Star Destroyers that weren’t involved in the Last Battle.”

She turned to her pad again and scrolled through the data. Suddenly she stopped and read the line again. Her lips started twitching.

“Rose?” Rey asked with a raised eyebrow. “Everything alright?”

The Lieutenant couldn’t contain her laughter any longer. Finn and Rey exchanged confused looks. Rose wiped away tear as she tried to compose herself.

“Sorry about that. It’s ridiculous. They seem to call themselves the ‘Really Final Order’.”

They all stared at her. Finn’s jaw dropped and his brows furrowed.

“What?”

Poe on the other hand started chuckling quietly. And then suddenly he was laughing loudly deep from his belly.

“Poe, it’s not funny! This is the First Order we’re talking about here!” Finn hissed but at this point Rey and Jess had started giggling too.

Seeing his partner’s sombre look made Poe subdue his urge to laugh on. He just wanted to tell him he was right, when Jess quipped:

“I sure hope, that’s the very last Final Order. They’re really getting on my nerves.”

At this Poe lost it again and collapsed on Finn’s shoulder trying to drown his laughter into his boyfriends west. He wasn’t really successful. Finn shook his head fondly and suppressed the twitch of his lip.

“We definitely need to stop them. Before this becomes even more ridiculous.”

Finally, the room managed to calm down. Taking a deep breath, Poe tried to get the meeting back on track.

“So, let’s see what we can do about them…”

At this moment Lieutenant Connix entered the room and waved another pad.

“I’ve just received a message about another First Order splinter group preparing for an attack.”

Poe raised one of his eyebrows.

“I thought, that’s what we’re being briefed about right now.”

Finn took the pad from Kaydel.

“There’s a holo message. Let’s see…”

He inserted a data stick into the projector. The bland face of a stern looking officer appeared.

“ _The Galaxy still is in chaos. We will bring Order. We are definitely the Final Order. Not like those wankers from the Last Order.”_

A Stormtrooper appeared.

“ _Ahm, sir. Shouldn’t we be struggling together?”_

The officer turned.

“ _We are!”_

“ _No, we should be fighting against our common enemy.”_

Another trooper stepped into the picture.

“ _The Really Final Order?!”_

The first trooper slapped his gloved hand against his helmet.

“ _No, the Resistance!”_

The officer straightened up.

“ _Ah, yes, them.”_

The message stopped abruptly.

“Hu”, said Poe.

“Do you think they might do our job for us?” Jess asked Finn.

“Just imagine.” The former trooper’s face took on a dreamy expression before sobering up again. "But I’m not counting on it. Seriously, we need to stop them, before people forget they’re the bad guys.”

Rey put her hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t worry we’ll make sure that they’re really the Final Order.”

Finn closed his eyes.

“And then you will all stop doing these stupid puns, please.”

“I’m not promising anything,” said Jess to no one’s surprise.


End file.
